How will a partner react?

Realistic and unrealistic expectations

People may just need a little time to think it through. Consider giving them written information or referring them to a sexual health centre to verify what you've told them.

If your partner is honest, sensitive and caring, they may need a few days to get used to the idea, but once they realize you are concerned about your health and their health, they will likely be happy to continue the relationship.

Some people might overreact, and some people won't be upset. Given the number of people with genital herpes, many people have heard this story before. Whatever the reaction, try to be flexible. Remember that it took you time to adjust as well.

Negative reactions are often no more than the result of misinformation. In some cases they are brought on when persons fear that you're asking them to commit to a relationship, instead of just informing them of the situation. If your partner does decide not to pursue a relationship with you simply because you have herpes, it's in your best interest to find out now. It takes a lot more than the occasional aggravation of herpes to destroy a sound relationship.

Some people react negatively no matter what you say or how you say it. Others might focus more energy on herpes than on the relationship. These people are the exception, not the rule. This is not a reflection on you. You are not responsible for their reaction. If your partner is unable to accept the facts, encourage him or her to speak with a medical expert or counsellor. Or just walk away. The bottom line is, there are lots of people out there who are attracted to you for exactly who you are - with or without herpes.

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The majority of people will react well. After all, you trust them enough to share a confidence with them that you wouldn't share with just anybody. Most people respect that.

So pat yourself on the back. Whether or not this relationship works out, you have enlightened someone with your education and experience, correcting some of the myths about herpes that cause so much harm. You have removed the barrier of silence that makes it so difficult for others to speak. And you have confronted a difficult issue in your life with courage and consideration.

How will a partner react?
How to Tell Your Partner?